Melanie Gibson General Martial Arts, Mental Health, Self-Development and Leadership

Little Black Belt is TEN!

Blogging, Near Philadelphia

My blog is TEN years old! Can you believe it? I began this project as a quiet way to document the life-changing insights I was having about a year into my taekwondo journey. I didn’t tell anyone about it for a few months. Since then it has grown to be a documentation of my journey to black belt and beyond, the inspiration for my 2021 book Kicking and Screaming: a Memoir of Madness and Martial Arts, and home to many guest articles from the larger martial arts world. The blog and the book have pushed me into talking openly about mental illness in the public space, which I’ve done on podcasts, in articles, and even in my workplace.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my thoughts and to the other writers and martial artists who have contributed richness and diversity to the blog.

Continue reading “Little Black Belt is TEN!” →

Melanie Gibson General Martial Arts, Mental Health

Yes, Your Martial Art Can Just Be a Hobby

istockphoto.com

Recently my partner sent me a video by YouTube comedian Ryan George. In the video, a man who likes to doodle cute little birds for fun in his spare time is bullied and pressured by a #hustleandgrind bro into creating a side hustle-to-full-time business with products, employees, and a full on corporate structure. By the end of the video, both men are older and ready to retire. The hustle bro comments that the artist can now go paddle boarding with son in his free time, which was what the artist enjoyed doing before he started his bird drawing business. The artist is angry and frustrated at time lost. It harkens back to the parable of the fisherman and the businessman. The fisherman, like the man sketching birds, was content with his life. The businessman couldn’t understand why the fisherman wouldn’t follow his promptings to expand his production.

Sometimes a hobby can just be a hobby.

Continue reading “Yes, Your Martial Art Can Just Be a Hobby” →

Melanie Gibson Guest Writers, Self-Development and Leadership

Guest Post: Live Better, Live Healthier: Everyday Tactics for Well-Being

Image via Pexels

September is self-care and self-improvement month. To perform at our best, martial artists need to take care of themselves in body, mind, and spirit.
Emma Grace Brown, a frequent contributor to this site, shares small (but very important) things we can do to make sure our bodies and minds are healthy going into a busy fall and holiday season. If you would like to contribute to Little Black Belt, please review the contributor guidelines here.

Continue reading “Guest Post: Live Better, Live Healthier: Everyday Tactics for Well-Being” →

Melanie Gibson Self-Development and Leadership, Work and Martial Arts

Do you Love to Win or Hate to Lose?

Win and lose Royalty Free Vector Image - VectorStock

“Do you love to win or hate to lose?”

A high level executive in my company posed this question to a group of leaders at an event several months ago. We work for a large healthcare organization in a metropolitan area. The market shifts so rapidly our heads spin, so it was apropos of her to liken our attitudes toward our work with an air of competitiveness.

Most of us agreed that the company itself operates from more of a “love to win” approach. I don’t mean that as a hippie love-is-in-the-air attitude. It just likes playing the long game. Sometimes too long, but it’s learning to respond more quickly to an unprecedented era in healthcare.

The executive posited that there are advantages and disadvantages to both. If you love to win, you probably have a good long-term strategy. If you hate to lose, you might be more keen to be innovative to get ahead. If you love to win, you might be too slow to make a move. If you hate to lose, you might be too reactive around competition and take costly risks.

At the time I (naively) thought, “I love to win more than I hate to lose.” These days I have a more optimistic outlook than I did a few years ago. I’ve made some needed changes and have witnessed growth in my personal and professional lives. And who doesn’t love to win?

And then I was pressure-tested. There was nothing huge or life-altering that happened. I just experienced the normal ups and downs of life while that question lingered on my mind.

Turns out I’m still more of a “hate to lose” person, to my detriment. I ruminate on when I make mistakes, when I’m corrected, or when I make the wrong choice. Those moments take over my thoughts in a more powerful way than when I’m showing appreciating or celebrating a win. This spans across my personal life, work, and even in the dojang. I think one can use the “hate to lose” attitude to their advantage,  but I haven’t figured that out.

I guess I’m still a perfectionist. Much less so than I was as a much younger woman and even a few years ago, but old habits die hard.

Losing isn’t so bad. I’ve learned lessons every time I’ve lost. If I can’t get away from hating to lose easily, perhaps I can shift to loving to win and learning to lose.

What about you? Do you love to win or hate to lose?

 

Melanie Gibson General Martial Arts, Guest Writers, Training Tips

Guest Post: How Relaxation Improves Self-Defense

It’s summer! It’s time to chill and relaaaaaax. Relaxation is not only good for our minds, it’s good for our bodies as martial artists. Sifu Kyle Ritter and Sifu Ted Ritter (the Wing Chun Twins) share six reasons why relaxation is vital to practicing self-defense.

There are several reasons why relaxation plays a crucial role in self-defense:

Continue reading “Guest Post: How Relaxation Improves Self-Defense” →

Melanie Gibson Mental Health, My Guest Posts

My Guest Post: Spotlight on Men’s Mental Health

moments before a karate competition

Any time is a good time to talk about mental health. Let’s talk about men and mental health in my latest (and for now, last) Martial Journal article: Spotlight on Men’s Mental Health.

Melanie Gibson Injury and Recovery, Mental Health

So You’ve Torn Your ACL. Now What? A Comprehensive Guide.

How to Avoid Knee Pain Caused by Running | JustRunLah!

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional or health care provider of any kind. These articles are written from the perspective of a patient. Please follow the instructions of your health care provider.

So it happened to you. The infamous “knee blowout” they talk about in sports or dance movies but never show in detail. You felt the pop in your leg and were on the ground before you knew what happened.

You have a torn ACL. Now what?

Congratulations! You’ve now joined the elite club of ACL Warriors.

Continue reading “So You’ve Torn Your ACL. Now What? A Comprehensive Guide.” →

Melanie Gibson Mental Health, My Guest Posts, Self-Development and Leadership

My Guest Post: Building Resilience When You’re Feeling Stressed

Ramping Up Your Resilience - Anne Grady Group

April is Stress Awareness Month. Something we heard a lot during the pandemic was “jUsT bE reSIliENt” as if we could magically change how we felt overnight. Sometimes the sentiment came with support. Other times it came as threat from those who refused to budge. Either way, building resilience in a healthy way is possible.

Check out my latest post on Martial Journal to read more: https://www.martialjournal.com/building-resilience-when-youre-feeling-stressed/

Melanie Gibson General Martial Arts, Mental Health, My Guest Posts, Self-Development and Leadership

My Guest Post: Seeking Authenticity? Look to Martial Arts

Out of the vast hellscape of the pandemic came a cry for authenticity–in our workplaces, in our homes, and in our hearts. If you’re a practicing martial artist (or have any kind of hobby, passion, sport, etc.), the power might already be within you. In this month’s article for Martial Journal, I describe how practicing martial arts can help you find your authentic voice.

Click here to read the article.

 

Melanie Gibson Injury and Recovery, Mental Health

I’m Glad I Got Injured and Gained Weight

Heavier, happier…but not giving up on heels (sometimes).

My God I used to be obnoxious.

I mean, some might argue that I still am, but I was worse.

After a refreshing yoga class last Saturday, I reflected that my pervasive perfectionism had at one time made its way into something I’ve done for the last twenty-five years. Before my injury and eating disorder recovery I had to look thin and fit in the mirror at all times. I had to be the most pliable person in the class. I had to do the poses perfectly. And blocks? Those are for people who aren’t as good as I am at yoga.

Give me a break. Now I never go to class without at least two blocks ready to shove under my legs when my right knee feels tight.

And don’t get me started on Body Combat. I’d wriggle my way up to the front row and throw in spin kicks, jump back kicks–I was a show-off. Thank God my ACL didn’t blow out there or I’d never be able to show my face at the gym again. These days when I occasionally take a class I’m happy doing a light jog when others are doing jumps, and I keep my kicks grounded.

That show-offy-ness? That purported gracefulness? All of that came from a place of deep insecurity and body hatred. I couldn’t even appreciate the healthy, strong body I had because I hated it and myself so much.

So when I was knocked off my feet with a serious injury I learned to be more patient with my body. It also helped me be less judgmental about other people’s bodies and abilities.

I also recovered from anorexia in 2021. Due to not severely restricting food, which I had done for years at a time and vowed to never do again, I gained a certain amount of weight. While that might sound troubling at first in our diet/looks-obsessed culture (and I had my moments of doubt) I’m fine with it: (1) My body was finally being nourished properly and amazingly, my mental health improved (2) I had way too many clothes to begin with so it was nice to do a closet purge of items that no longer fit me and (3) I had the hard realization that I’d put way too much stock and value into my looks and the supposed value that gave me. I still very much enjoy putting together a fashionable outfit, but I just don’t care about how thin or perfect I should look. That’s incredibly freeing and much more respectful to my poor mind and body that I had abused for decades.

So yeah, I’m heavier, I’m slower…and I’m a lot happier.