Melanie Gibson General Martial Arts, Mental Health

Taekwondo Fills a Spot, Not a Void, and That’s Okay

11 Free Printable Daily Planner Templates for 2024 | Develop Good Habits
Laundry, check. Work meeting, check. Taekwondo, check.

I had a thought the other day, just a fleeting thought, that maybe I’d quit taekwondo for a while and get more into Pilates and yoga, both of which I’ve practiced since college (off and on for Pilates, consistently for yoga). Or finish my g-ddamn novel I’ve been working on since 2023. Or just enjoy the time off with whatever I wanted. 

I like my taekwondo school and all the people there, and I love how I feel after every class, even on days when I’m tired or irritated or wishing I’d stayed home to watch TV. I only go two days a week, but for some reason, even those two hours out of the week feel like an imposition. 

It doesn’t feel so much like a time drain as it does an energy drain. 

There was a year or two where I was going to taekwondo five or six days a week, sometimes for multiple classes in a day. That fed my soul and made me so very happy. Also I’ll note at the time I was single and didn’t like my job much and was content with just coasting. I might even consider my connection to taekwondo as an unhealthy, co-dependent one; one addiction replacing another and filling a very large hole gouged in my heart by emotional turmoil, mental illnesses, and stupid choices. But, that’s what I needed at the time to find happiness.

Now, other than the home I live in, my life is very different than it was ten years ago when I got my first degree black belt. I’m much more career-minded (it helps when you have a boss and work you like) and have this author thing I keep trying to kick off the ground, published memoir notwithstanding. I’ve also been in a relationship for several years, but it helps that he’s a taekwondo person too. I’m still a black belt, and I still love taekwondo, but I’m not the same black belt I was in my mid-thirties. 

Maybe I’m still learning how to find balance rather than the all or nothing extreme. I did the “all” for several years, and then “nothing” for a year and a half while I recovered from two knee surgeries, which was its own bucket of drama.

It’s not taekwondo’s fault that I feel restless and like I’m not accomplishing what I want to. It’s an easy scapegoat and something easier to drop from my life than my job or home maintenance. This is telling me that rather than follow an impulsive whim to cut out something that is positive in my life, I can examine my whole life and where I’m prioritizing my energy. A portfolio rebalance, if you will.

Taekwondo no longer fills a void in my heart. My heart is whole, thanks to taekwondo but mostly thanks to the work I’ve done on my emotional and mental health. It fills a much smaller spot, and that’s okay.

Maybe I’m just bullshitting and blowing off steam. I’m still going to class tomorrow night, and I know I’ll feel great.

Melanie Gibson Guest Writers, Training Tips

Guest Writer: Strength & Conditioning for Combat Sports & Martial Arts: Train Smart to Fight Easy

Guest writer Richard Bennett doing S&C with pro heavyweight boxer Simon Ibekwe

In the last few months I’ve been adding strength and conditioning work to my martial arts training. I feel great, and my martial arts performance has improved. Guest writer Richard Bennett, coach and trainer for combat athletes and martial artists, shares his expertise on how you can create a strength and conditioning practice that enhances your martial arts performance. If you would like to contribute a guest article for Little Black Belt, please review the guidelines here.

Strength & Conditioning for Combat Sports & Martial Arts: Train Smart to Fight Easy

Combat sports demand it all: strength, speed, power, endurance, and resilience. Whether you’re a boxer, judoka, or martial artist, you need the ability to go the distance and explode on command.

However, many fighters still equate “harder” with “better.” More rounds, more circuits, more fatigue. But strength and conditioning (S&C) isn’t about doing more work — it’s about doing the right work. A smart programme builds the physical foundation that allows your skill and technique to shine.

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Melanie Gibson General Martial Arts, Guest Writers, The Poomsae Series, Training Tips

Guest Writer: Kata in Aikidō: Form, Principle, and Transformation

I’ve always been a fan of forms (poomsae in Korean) and appreciate their ability to focus the practitioner on technique, execution, proper form, and breathing. Forms are practiced across many different martial arts, including Aikido. Josh MacDonald, Calgary Rakushinkan Aikidō, shares his expertise about the history and current practice of forms (kata) in Aikido. If you would like to be a guest writer for Little Black Belt please review the guest writer guidelines and contact me.

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Melanie Gibson Mental Health, Self-Development and Leadership, Work and Martial Arts

Yes, Grandma, I am a Happy Girl

Premium Vector | Grand mother with child silhouette

Today would have been my sweet grandmother’s ninety-seventh birthday. It will be the first birthday where I can’t call or text her, and it feels weird. I’m wearing a shirt and sweater of hers in her honor plus a set of ruby and diamond jewelry that I’ve already incorporated into a memorial tattoo I recently had inked on my right forearm. And, just like my extremely organized and planful Grandma, I’m checking things off in my day planner and work to-do list.

Grandma was a deeply spiritual and introspective person. She spent a lot of time reading, thinking, reflecting, and writing. As I grew into adulthood I enjoyed and appreciated being able to talk with her on a level beyond superficial niceties.

In spring of 2022, I drove to Tulsa to visit her and Grandpa for the weekend. Grandpa had gone out to get us burgers for lunch, and my cousin and his family hadn’t yet arrived from the airport. Finding ourselves alone with a chance to chat, Grandma asked, “Well, Mel, are you a happy girl?”

And I said…no.

We had a discussion about the biggest thing at the time that was troubling me, which was my job. I have hinted before on this blog at how deeply unhappy I was with my job and how stuck I felt. We talked about that, how I felt trapped doing things I was good at and had built a reputation around doing, but I secretly didn’t enjoy and wanted to stop doing. She surprised me with the revelation that toward the end of his career at an oil company, my grandfather felt the same way. But, like me, he had responsibilities and couldn’t outright quit, so he spoke up for himself and found other things to do within the company that satisfied his interests.

Between my discussion with Grandma and a ton of counseling I started undergoing when things got really bad in 2021, I learned to advocate for myself. I took advantage of opportunities and changes as they emerged.

Today I have a great relationship with my direct leaders and my team. I’m doing almost exclusively things that pique my interests and talents and are helping me grow instead of keeping me stagnant.

On other fronts, I continue to practice managing emotions, thoughts, and feelings in a healthy and productive way. I’m back to taekwondo training after a prolonged ACL injury recovery, and have recently taken up a strength training series my partner and I do together at home so I can increase my level of fitness. I still haven’t quite hit the sweet spot on making the time for all my interests and hobbies, but I do what I can. When the MANY stressors falling onto me at once in the first half of this year got me near a breaking point, I spoke up and said I was burned out and needed a break and am continuing to recover and rebalance during the latter half of this year. That all came from making a commitment to myself to let go of anger and frustration around things I couldn’t change and taking action on things I could (something I still have to remind myself to balance because I am far from a master at it).

There are still things I want to do, goals I haven’t yet achieved, and things I’d like to change, but today I can honestly, whole-heartedly say, “Yes, Grandma, I am a happy girl.”

Melanie Gibson Mental Health, Self-Development and Leadership, Work and Martial Arts

Dressing (Your Mind) for the Role You Want

                                                              Three stripes is for second Dans too

A few months ago for my birthday, I bought an Adidas taekwondo uniform with the signature three black stripes. I’d had my eye on that style since I saw some black belts, a father and daughter duo, wearing them when I first returned to taekwondo in 2013. For some reason I had in my head that, like those two black belts, I had to be a third degree black belt to wear that uniform–not because of the three stripes, which would seem like silly, obvious kid-logic, but because it was “nicer,” and I didn’t deserve nice things yet. And maybe I thought my grandmaster, who could fly off the handle at the most ridiculous things, would have some unwritten rule that certain uniforms were for certain ranks. (Woe to the branch school owner who wore a criss-cross quilted patterned dobok top to a test one time. Apparently those are for grandmasters only).

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Melanie Gibson General Martial Arts, Guest Writers, Injury and Recovery, Training Tips

Guest Writer: 5 Training Mistakes to Avoid in Taekwondo Conditioning

Aquaphor, the Best Friend of Irritated and Aggressed Skin SweetCare

I was recently approached by the team at Parana Sports Industries requesting to submit a guest article. The topic they pitched was intriguing: mistakes to avoid in taekwondo conditioning. Over my nearly 15 years of practicing taekwondo, I’ve made plenty of mistakes, and as I get older, those become more costly to avoid. Whether you’re an aging martial artist like me or a spring chicken, proper training and care for your body will make you less prone to injuries and ensure you can practice for a lifetime. 

If you want to submit a guest article for Little Black Belt, please review the guest writer guidelines here.

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Melanie Gibson Guest Writers, Mental Health

Guest Writer: Grief and Aikido: Relaxing Under Pressure

I’ve discussed the connection of martial arts to mental and emotional health for over a decade; in fact, that’s the reason why I started this blog. I have never, however, approached the topic of using martial arts to manage grief until grief counselor and Aikido student Gyani Richards suggested the topic. The suggestion was timely. I lost my two remaining grandparents within a day of each other earlier this year, which was already a very stressful time for a number of reasons. At first I wasn’t quite sure how to handle my grief. Practicing taekwondo and being among my martial arts friends was one of the best things I did to regain a sense of normalcy and positivity. Please enjoy this beautifully written and thoughtful post and information about Gyani at the end.

If you would like to submit a guest post for Little Black Belt, please review the guest writer guidelines here.

Grief and Aikido: Relaxing Under Pressure

“Heaven is right where you are standing, and that is the place to train.”
— Morihei Ueshiba, founder of Aikido

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Melanie Gibson Guest Writers, Mental Health, Self-Development and Leadership

Guest Writer: Train the Mind, Dominate the Moment

Someone asked me recently about the mental/emotional/spiritual aspect of martial arts. I’ve discussed it many times on this blog. But don’t just take my word for it. Today’s inspiring guest post is from Coach Matt Marcinek on how winning happens in the mind before you even set foot on the mat. If you would like to write a guest post for Little Black Belt, please review the guest writer guidelines here.

Everyone talks about toughness.
 “Push through.”
 “Don’t quit.”
 “Be mentally strong.”

But what if we’ve misunderstood what real toughness actually is?
 What if it’s not about clenching your jaw and pretending you don’t feel the pressure… but about being calm, aware, and honest when the pressure hits?

That’s the real inner game.
 And it’s the one I try to train every day—on the mat and in life.

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Melanie Gibson Injury and Recovery, Mental Health, Self-Development and Leadership, Work and Martial Arts

Lingering Injury versus an Acute Injury: Life Lessons from (Sometimes Self-Inflicted) Pain

The Achilles Heel of Advice | Blackbird
Me trying to hack life and failing miserably.

Thanks to conversations with my boss and a counselor about my severe burnout, several days off here and there for rest and rejuvenation, hormones starting to regulate so my suspected peri-menopausal symptoms aren’t as bad, and more days of actual honest to God decent sleep…I’m feeling better than I was when I wrote my last post. 

But I’m not out of the woods yet.

Continue reading “Lingering Injury versus an Acute Injury: Life Lessons from (Sometimes Self-Inflicted) Pain” →

Melanie Gibson Injury and Recovery, Mental Health, Uncategorized, Work and Martial Arts

If You’re Happy but You’re Burned Out, Clap Your Hands

Burnout isn't budging in the U.S. workforce | CIO

I’ve been wanting to write an article for a while about burnout. The irony isn’t lost on me that it’s taken me over a month to get thoughts to screen because I’ve been “too busy.” 

The first time the thought for the article crossed my mind I was at home, having taken Good Friday, April 18, off after a very busy week of work and two full days of being in a training program. I’d also been dealing with severe insomnia, which I attributed to peri-menopausal weirdness but realize in hindsight was exacerbated by stress and burnout. I’d hoped to spend that Friday doing something fun or spending time on one or more of my hobbies, but because I was so exhausted, I spent the day napping on the couch while I waited for the HVAC guy to show up to install a part and do the biannual check-up since that was the only free time I’d had all month. 

I was too burned out to write an article about burnout.

Continue reading “If You’re Happy but You’re Burned Out, Clap Your Hands” →