Melanie Gibson General Martial Arts, Guest Writers, Self-Development and Leadership, Training Tips

Guest Writer: 5 Things Jiu Jitsu Has Taught Me About Learning

Guest writer Ashely Mann and her husband Josiah demonstrate a Jiu Jitsu technique.

I have been in the business of adult learning for nearly 15 years. I’m always interested to see how our experiences, whether they are related to martial arts, our professional life, or our relationships, help us learn. In this guest post Ashley Mann shares five things practicing Jiu Jitsu has taught her about the nature of learning. My personal favorite from her list: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

If you would like to contribute a post to Little Black Belt, please review the guest writer guidelines here.

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Melanie Gibson Work and Martial Arts

Imposter Syndrome or Just Feeling Like a Beginner Again?

Dressing for the job I want: pool hustler.

My partner gave me a billiards cue last Christmas and then a glove for my most recent birthday. Despite playing pool for the last several years, I still very much feel like a beginner. I wasn’t sure I “deserved” a good cue until I passed some sort of unwritten, undefined test–like maybe, not feeling self-conscious around all the experts when we play at the pool hall or doing a decent break where the balls don’t end up in a sad cluster or living up to unrealistic expectations of perfection that I unfortunately still put on myself.

What am I trying to prove? Do I need to prove anything at all?

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Melanie Gibson Self-Development and Leadership, Work and Martial Arts

Do you Love to Win or Hate to Lose?

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“Do you love to win or hate to lose?”

A high level executive in my company posed this question to a group of leaders at an event several months ago. We work for a large healthcare organization in a metropolitan area. The market shifts so rapidly our heads spin, so it was apropos of her to liken our attitudes toward our work with an air of competitiveness.

Most of us agreed that the company itself operates from more of a “love to win” approach. I don’t mean that as a hippie love-is-in-the-air attitude. It just likes playing the long game. Sometimes too long, but it’s learning to respond more quickly to an unprecedented era in healthcare.

The executive posited that there are advantages and disadvantages to both. If you love to win, you probably have a good long-term strategy. If you hate to lose, you might be more keen to be innovative to get ahead. If you love to win, you might be too slow to make a move. If you hate to lose, you might be too reactive around competition and take costly risks.

At the time I (naively) thought, “I love to win more than I hate to lose.” These days I have a more optimistic outlook than I did a few years ago. I’ve made some needed changes and have witnessed growth in my personal and professional lives. And who doesn’t love to win?

And then I was pressure-tested. There was nothing huge or life-altering that happened. I just experienced the normal ups and downs of life while that question lingered on my mind.

Turns out I’m still more of a “hate to lose” person, to my detriment. I ruminate on when I make mistakes, when I’m corrected, or when I make the wrong choice. Those moments take over my thoughts in a more powerful way than when I’m showing appreciating or celebrating a win. This spans across my personal life, work, and even in the dojang. I think one can use the “hate to lose” attitude to their advantage,  but I haven’t figured that out.

I guess I’m still a perfectionist. Much less so than I was as a much younger woman and even a few years ago, but old habits die hard.

Losing isn’t so bad. I’ve learned lessons every time I’ve lost. If I can’t get away from hating to lose easily, perhaps I can shift to loving to win and learning to lose.

What about you? Do you love to win or hate to lose?

 

Melanie Gibson Mental Health, Self-Development and Leadership, Training Tips

Developing Mental Agility as a Martial Artist

An orange sticky note has been sitting on my desk for the past few weeks. It reads: “Agility is best learned through challenging experiences.”

This quote was said in passing by a vendor with whom my day job team has been working on a leadership program for up-and-coming executives.

I wrote it down to share with the people I was coaching, but I also wrote it down for myself.
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Melanie Gibson Mental Health

The Power of a Teacher

Over the last month, two of my friends and mentors died suddenly. One was my classical guitar teacher and the other was a taekwondo master from my former dojang. Both men in their early/mid-sixties, they were taken from their loved ones too quickly and too soon. They were both gentle and patient. They both made a big impact on me and the things I love to spend my time doing. They will both be missed by many.

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Melanie Gibson General Martial Arts, Guest Writers, Training Tips

Guest Writer: How to Get Better at Your Martial Art

Refining your martial arts skills takes dedication, determination, and commitment to long-term practice. Sometimes you need to shake up your training routine with something new and different. You can also learn a thing or two from a marital artist who trains in a different style or art than you. We’re all in this together.

Guest writer Nick Kovach from BJJmotivation.com shares some great tips for stepping up your game. Check out Nick’s site for more martial arts training tips and guides.

If you would like to be a guest contributor for Little Black Belt, please review the guest writer guidelines here.

Paris-Taekwondo-Poomsae

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Melanie Gibson Self-Development and Leadership, Work and Martial Arts

When It’s Crunch Time, Be Agile, Be Ready…and Be Still

leap year 2020

February has been so busy we just had to have another day! (Happy Leap Day!)

At one point during this barrel race of a month I remarked to a coworker that I felt like I was back in high school doing last-minute run-throughs for one-act play contest.

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Melanie Gibson Training Tips

Black Belts: Find Your Inspiration

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A coworker likes to share the phrase, “You’re never too old to learn, and you’re never too young to teach.” Often we look to role models who have already forged the paths we want to travel, but we shouldn’t discount those who may be behind us in achieving a particular goal but whose perseverance and unique aptitude can be a refreshing lesson in never giving up. My last post was a call for black belts to learn from everyone they encounter, no matter what rank they are. My new challenge for my fellow black belts is to find inspiration from others.

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Melanie Gibson Class Diaries, General Martial Arts, Training Tips

Don’t Be Frustrated. Be Fascinated.

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I am a second degree black belt, but I am not an advanced fighter.

Sparring has never been my forte as a child or as an adult taekwondo practitioner. Sometimes I’ve hated it. Sometimes I’ve looked forward to it. Sometimes I both dread and enjoy it. It has always been a learning experience. I don’t live up to my impossibly high expectations, and of course that sets me up for frustration.

I decided to change my approach to sparring at the dojang I’ve been attending since December of last year.

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Melanie Gibson Self-Development and Leadership, Work and Martial Arts

Learn or Re-Learn Something New…So I’m Taking Up Classical Guitar Again

MG guitar
The dress, ring, and guitar live on, but I have graduated from the futon.

“I wouldn’t mind starting over as a white belt in another martial art.”

I’d half blurted, half muttered that comment to a friend I’d trained with at my old taekwondo school. We were talking about other martial arts that interested us. Having dabbled in hapkido self-defense training, I would like more formal training at that. Hapkido or judo–because throwing people on the floor is almost as fun as kicking them.
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