The Fine Line Between Being Useful and Being Used (Or, Why I’m Skittish About Teaching Taekwondo Again)

Vectored illustration. Silouette of men pulling in different direction.

Years ago I heard the expression, “If you give an inch, [insert name] will take a mile.” I wonder if that is something inherent in the world of work or in American culture in general. It’s great to be recognized, rewarded for, and given the opportunity to make your talents shine, and there’s also a very fine line between being useful and being used.

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Taekwondo Is Always There

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Due to feeling ill, work deadlines, the inevitable siren song of TV and wine, and most recently heavy downpours, I’ve been out of taekwondo for about two weeks. Perhaps it’s for the best as I’ve needed some time off to sort out my feelings. After my last post I received a wonderful, heartfelt comment on my last post from a reader with the recommendation to take a little break (Thanks, Toby!). I always feel refreshed after a break from intense activities in my life whether it’s my job, exercise, taekwondo, or lately my efforts to secure a literary agent for my memoir. Soon I’ll return to class to see if it’s done me some good.
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The Motto That Keeps Me Motivated (and Annoyed)

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I have a poster in my work office that reads, “A black belt is a white belt who refused to give up.” This is a popular phrase in the martial arts world, and it’s popped up a few times on my blog.

I’m kind of annoyed at myself for buying it. Every day it hangs over my head, reminding me of my power, potential, and the expectations set upon me, even on the days when I just don’t wanna.
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Proactive Laziness…Sometimes We Need Breaks From the Things We Love Most

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Last spring I was getting really burned out with taekwondo. I think it had less to do with the pressure I was under to test for bo dan (and later that year black belt) and more to do with crippling depression and anxiety that set in during a particularly nasty and icy February and lasted through…hmm…May. I also went through a very painful break up a week after I tested for bo dan, I was in a lull at work, and was becoming increasingly isolated at home.

Everything kinda sucked, and it followed me to the dojang. I was unmotivated, cranky, disappointed in my performance, and tired of dragging myself to class. I needed a break. I took a little time off, although I didn’t feel much better. Life in general started to improve in June, and by the time my black belt test rolled around in October, I was a much happier and more confident version of myself. I never told anyone how bad things were in the early part of last year. As I always do, I kept the worst parts to myself and dealt with my pain privately and independently. That’s how I prefer to handle things.
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My Guest Post: What to Do When Your Martial Arts Practice Feels Stagnant

 

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Check out this guest post I wrote for BookMartialArts.com: “What to Do When Your Martial Arts Practice Feels Stagnant”

BookMartialArts.com is the world’s leading martial arts travel company. It is a unique travel site that appeals to martial artists, yoga enthusiasts, fitness buffs, and anyone who wants to challenge their minds and bodies while visiting another part of the world. Search the site to find destinations near or far that will help you make your martial arts dreams a reality.

How Giving Up Drinking Saved My Skin

elephant wine

The last time I drank alcohol was exactly three months ago after a lonely Sunday spent on the couch with a bottle of Malbec and a dark mood. I had been toying with the idea of giving it up after I got bo dan rank in April and would “officially” begin black belt training, but circumstances demanded that I give it up sooner.
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So Just Chill Till the Next Episode

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“To surrender,” my yoga teacher said as he looked around the dark room at our upturned faces, “you sometimes first have to build heat.”

It was my first yoga class in about a month. When asked about my long absence I gave the ubiquitous answer of “I had things going on” with a Robert De Niro-esque shrug. I did have things going on (laundry doesn’t fold itself), but that wasn’t the entire answer.
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