Someone asked me recently about the mental/emotional/spiritual aspect of martial arts. I’ve discussed it many times on this blog. But don’t just take my word for it. Today’s inspiring guest post is from Coach Matt Marcinek on how winning happens in the mind before you even set foot on the mat. If you would like to write a guest post for Little Black Belt, please review the guest writer guidelines here.
Everyone talks about toughness.
“Push through.”
“Don’t quit.”
“Be mentally strong.”
But what if we’ve misunderstood what real toughness actually is?
What if it’s not about clenching your jaw and pretending you don’t feel the pressure… but about being calm, aware, and honest when the pressure hits?
That’s the real inner game.
And it’s the one I try to train every day—on the mat and in life.
Authentic Toughness vs. Fake Grit
I’ve seen a lot of people burn out trying to act invincible.
They think mental toughness means ignoring pain, anxiety, or fear.
But here’s the truth:
The strongest people are the ones who feel all of it—and still choose to respond with clarity.
They don’t panic. They don’t crumble. They adjust.
That’s authentic toughness. And it’s way more powerful than fake grit.
Awareness Over Denial
You can’t win your battles if you’re lying to yourself.
If you’re telling yourself you’re fine when you’re not, if you ignore what your body or mind is screaming, eventually it catches up.
Real competitors—the ones who last—pay attention.
They reflect.
They ask:
👉 What am I feeling right now?
👉 Where is that tension coming from?
👉 How can I use this moment to grow instead of run?
That’s mental jiu-jitsu.
Calm Is a Weapon
Have you ever seen a fighter who just looks… unbothered?
Not reckless. Not emotionless.
Just composed.
Calm is dangerous.
Calm thinks clearly.
Calm doesn’t waste energy.
And calm can only be trained by getting uncomfortable—again and again—until your nervous system stops freaking out every time life gets loud.
Train Smart, Not Just Hard
Anyone can go hard once.
Champions go smart every day.
They recover. They manage their energy. They don’t rely on hype or adrenaline.
Consistency always wins out over short bursts of intensity.
Control What’s Yours
You can’t control the room.
You can’t control your opponent.
You can’t control the chaos.
But you can control your breathing.
Your effort.
Your internal response.
And the more reps you get at that, the less reactive—and more dangerous—you become.
What This Means for You
This means if you want to be a world champion, be a better recreational player, or just perform better in practice, you can’t just train armbars, chokes and sweeps.
You need to train how to respond when things don’t go your way, how to regulate yourself under pressure, how to stay calm in the storm
Because in the end, that’s where the real wins happen:
Inside your head. Before the match even starts.
Matt Marcinek is The owner and Head Coach of No Limits Grappling Academy, in Blakely, PA.
He is a jiu-jitsu Brown belt, a Judo Black Belt, born with Cerebral Palsy. He also has a masters in Sport Psychology and is a certified Mental Performance Mastery Coach under Brian Cain
