“Did I hold you over?” my instructor asked as I scurried to the front of the dojang after a late night class. I usually walk fast because I have short legs and lots of places to go, but I also had a few troubling things on my mind, and I wanted to get home so I could stew and sulk in peace.
Continue reading “Learning to Be Human”
The last time I drank alcohol was exactly three months ago after a lonely Sunday spent on the couch with a bottle of Malbec and a dark mood. I had been toying with the idea of giving it up after I got bo dan rank in April and would “officially” begin black belt training, but circumstances demanded that I give it up sooner.
Continue reading “How Giving Up Drinking Saved My Skin”
At the end of Tuesday night’s yoga class we quietly transitioned from savasna to the fetal position. Throughout the hour our teacher encouraged us to go big, take life, and when necessary, let go. “You can breathe through the tension, smile in discomfort, and use strength you didn’t know you had,” he said before summoning us to sit up. I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. I have had to face discomfort and uncertainty and tap into a strength I didn’t know I had. I’ve had to let go.
Continue reading “Spar Though Your Heart Is Breaking”
Tonight was my first taekwondo class in about a week and a half. I took off two Fridays ago to spend time with my parents and it seemed like a good idea at the time to skip the entire following week. As I’ve said in previous posts I was burned out. I needed a break from taekwondo, even though it was more of a mental break than physical.
Continue reading “Back in White”
I should have taken my yoga teacher’s advice. I’m burned out.
I really knew I was burned out when in a matter of days I suddenly felt disgusted by three things I enjoy very much: Greek yogurt, eye makeup, and taekwondo sparring.
Continue reading “Didn’t He Say “Ease Off”??”
When you do something over and over you either become stronger or you break.
Continue reading “4/20 Burnout…Wait, It’s Not What You Think!”
Wednesday night in red and black belt class we practiced falling. “Don’t drop like you’re dead,” my instructor said to me and the other bo dans after we morosely plopped forward, landing forearms-first on a heavy mat. “Hit your arms against the ground and don’t sink your body into it,” he said, emphasizing his statement by popping his arms. Falling face-forward is scary, but if you know how to protect yourself, you can fall with confidence.
Continue reading “Break Fall”
“Up-downs,” my instructor said calmly, widening his eyes and smiling at us. It was the first class day after Friday’s and Saturday’s tests, but only four of us showed up, so my instructor must have decided he was going to whip us into shape black belt style. We had two new bo dans (me and a younger female student), a teenage bo dan who tested for black belt on Saturday and will likely be awarded his black belt in about a week, and a teenage black belt who will be testing for his 2nd dan in the fall. You would think a class of only high-ranking students would be deadly serious, mature, and determined. I have apparently forgotten what it’s like to be a teenager.
Continue reading “Black Belt Boot Camp, Burpees, and Boys”
The week of a belt test reminds me of finals week in college, specifically the fall semester sophomore year finals week when I was 19, had a bad flu, and still dragged myself (sometimes literally) to class and my little campus job. I’m physically exhausted, mentally drained, and emotionally on edge. My suitcase still isn’t unpacked, the fridge is empty, laundry (clean at least!) is piled up waiting to be folded, and a jigsaw puzzle I started is woefully incomplete.
Ah, the trials of a lifelong student!
Continue reading “Finals Week – Bo Dan Edition”
Last night was my first taekwondo class in a week, thanks to winter weather and other scheduling conflicts. I was a little nervous about how I would hold up, but I was also excited and ready to be back into my normal training routine after too many snow days and too many snacks.
Continue reading “No Spring Break for You!”