When the Flames of Imposter Syndrome Loom Large

I’ve explored imposter syndrome a few times on this blog, once during a period of depression and loneliness and more recently when I was offered the opportunity to do something new at work.

I’m happy to report that (1) I’m no longer depressed and lonely and (2) I’ve gotten a pretty good handle on that new thing at work.

Speaking of work, I’ve had the privilege of getting to know several talented and intelligent people around the organization. I always walk away from our conversations with an enlightened perspective.

One such conversation yielded a great metaphor: a person I was speaking with said sometimes “big winds fan the flames of imposter syndrome.” They then said having great people around them and the resources they need to do their job help them feel less stressed.

“They’re your fire extinguishers!” I quipped.

Jokes aside, what happens when those “big winds” turn things upside down and make life feel scarier and less stable?

Imposter syndrome can happen to anyone for any reason. You don’t feel smart enough, talented enough, deserving enough, or just enough enough. I’ve felt it many times in my professional life, but in darker times of my life, I’ve also felt it in my personal life. I even sabotaged a relationship with a nice person because I was so nervous about someone like that spending time with someone like me. I put that person on a pedestal they, as nice as they were, didn’t deserve and didn’t ask for, and I figured at some point they’d figure out how awful I was. (If you want the tea, read Chapter One of my memoir, ha ha.)

Those big winds are stressors, but they could also be opportunities to turn a raging fire into a source of strength. Those new projects, new problems to solve, new responsibilities are chances to grow and apply what we’ve learned.

And we don’t have to fight the fire alone. We can look to our loved ones, trusted colleagues, our past experiences, or even our own instincts and mental agility to act as our fire extinguishers. When I started that new venture at work, the executive I report to said, “You belong here.” I’ve carried that statement with me for the last year whenever I find myself in a new or challenging situation at work or at home.

You belong here. There’s room for all of us to grow together.