Over the course of my career, people ranging from my dad to multiple bosses have asked, encouraged, and even pressured me to pursue leadership positions. Many seemed surprised or baffled at my aversion to it. Twenty years into my tenure at my company and nearly thirty years of being employed in some fashion, I can still say with confidence: NOPE.
And that’s not a bad thing.
Just like I wrote about in my blog post about how it’s okay to have hobbies simply done for fun rather than monetary gain (when did we get to the point where we had to monetize every talent or interest anyway?), it’s okay to excel in your career without ever donning the title of manager, director, VP, etc.
There are many reasons why I don’t want to be an official leader–the hours, the stress, the responsibilities. There are different types of ambitions and different types of intelligence. I’m great with my personal finances; the thought of forecasting a budget in the business world makes me want to run screaming. I’m an experienced and talented public speaker; the thought of conducting 1:1 performance reviews with my employees makes me want to retreat further into my Fortress of Solitude. I am not willing to give as much of my heart, mind, and spirit as I feel I would need to as an effective leader. I guard my time like a dragon guards gold.
The only thing appealing about leadership is the potential to make more money than I do in my current role or equivalent roles. So yeah, I don’t want to climb the corporate ladder, and the working society needs to stop sending the message that that is the only way to be successful or fulfilled in one’s career.
Lately, as I’ve had more opportunities to do things at work I enjoy far more than I have in the past, I can say I don’t want to be a leader of people because my talents and contributions lie elsewhere: coaching.
I recently learned a coaching methodology that bucketed the roles of coach, leader, mentor, and teacher. I’ve done plenty of teaching in my career, and I’m getting to do a lot more coaching, which I love to do. Mentoring sometimes happens in unexpected ways; a fellow employee comes to me for career advice, or a recent graduate wants to talk to someone who has been in the healthcare industry for a long time.
I gravitate toward coaching, teaching, and mentoring in martial arts too. As I said in my post about martial arts being a hobby, I don’t teach much anymore, and I definitely don’t want to run a school. As far as leadership goes, I’ll defer to the master/head coach/school owner. But I love to coach students individually and act as a mentor. Lately a teenage red belt has been asking me questions about higher belt level forms and asked me pointedly for feedback on her bo staff form. I’ve enjoyed getting to know her and help stoke the fire of her love of taekwondo. It also helps me like her for the fact that she acted dumbstruck when she found out my age. (She insisted I looked fifteen years younger, thankyouverymuch.)
I get so excited when taekwondo students are getting ready to test. I’m not ready for my third dan test yet (I’ll get there eventually), but I’ll sure as hell get someone ready to test for their first dan. In turn, I get excited when leaders I work with in my day job are promoted. Last month I began meeting with several leaders I will be coaching in a 360 assessment and development process; one director reminded me that five years ago, we had a conversation when she was a manager about her thoughts and concerns when getting ready for a promotion into her current role. She said I helped her a lot and was so happy to learn I will be her coach for the 360. She’s got her eye on an officer role now, and I’ll do my damndest to help her build confidence and skills to get her ready.
Regarding the director from my day job, my red belt student, and everyone else I coach, mentor, and teach, their growth is more satisfying to me than a higher-level title for myself. Helping people set and achieve goals is worth more to me than any leadership position. I’m where I’m meant to be (but I won’t say no to more money).
